✨ At a Glance:
Emotions are not endpoints. They’re signals pointing below the surface. To transform them, you must look beneath — where beliefs, values, and unmet needs live.
🧠 The Elite Idea
Think of emotions as icebergs. What you see — anger, sadness, fear — is only the tip. Underneath lies what truly drives the reaction: a need for respect, a fear of failure, a longing for belonging.
This is why reframing is so powerful. By asking the right questions, you shift from being controlled by the visible tip to learning from what lies beneath.
🔍 Inside My Mind
When a client spends 20 minutes describing another person’s behavior, I’ll often pause and say:
👉 “I’m not coaching that other person in your story. I’m coaching you. What can you do differently to help yourself?”
That reframe changes everything. Suddenly the iceberg becomes visible. The client realizes the anger wasn’t just about the colleague’s words — it was about their own boundary being crossed. Now we can build something new: one brick at a time, step by step.
🧬 Integrate It
When a strong emotion hits, ask yourself:
- “What’s under the surface here?”
- “What need or belief is this emotion pointing to?”
- “What one action could move me forward?”
Remember: Insight without action is entertainment. Insight with action is transformation.